When I started writing this post I was convinced I wanted to talk about sexual freedom.
However, as I started writing, I realised that I could not generalise when talking about this topic, which is why I decided to talk about my own sexual freedom.
As I was looking back, remembering events of my past, I discovered new things about myself that made me question my own present.
Ever since I started working my sexuality, I have been riddled with contradictions.
I have questioned many of the decisions that I have made throughout my life.
Often questioning if I had made the right choice. I see myself in situations that take me out of my comfort zone quite often.
From a very young age I was sexually very open and broad-minded but I was also quite easily influenced.
Prejudices and social taboos pressured me at the time
I wanted to discover and experience new things, but I did not know how to manage my sexuality well at that time.
I wanted to discover and experiment new things, but at the time I did not know how to properly manage and deal with my sexuality.
I thought everything was quite simple and I let other people influence me in a negative way and manipulate me.
They led me to believe that being sexually open-minded meant accepting and agreeing to do anything anyone suggested. Otherwise, I would be labelled as “prudish”.
I was wrong, not because I was having relationships with other people, but because those people were toxic and took advantage of my essence, my body and my mind.
Do you know how many times….
- I've felt guilty for feeling pleasure?
- They have tried to manipulate me (or have managed to do so) just because I don’t mind talking about sex?
- I’ve fucked someone without feeling anything at all?
- I’ve been called a whore for being sexually uninhibited? And how many times those same people called me expecting to find “easy sex”?
What about those who believe that sex is an invitation to enter your private life and invade your privacy?
What about those that know you and enjoy with you but then ask you to change and adapt to them and what they are lacking?
All these are toxic behaviors and eliminating them is a challenge that not all of us dare to do.
We should not judge anyone, but we should not let other people judge us either.
We associate being sexually open just to how far you would go during intercourse, but this is a mistake.
- Has nothing to do with getting in bed with anyone that asks .
- Is a mental state in which you are constantly getting rid of beliefs and prejudices imposed by society.
- Is having decision-making power over yourself, your body and your mind.
- You need to connect with yourself. That can be achieved by creating your own world and filling it with your own tastes, pleasures and desires.
If it is someone else who imposes their opinion, tastes or fantasies upon you, you will never be able to connect with your own essence.
Imposing leads to demanding which consequently leads to pain.
Work your sexual freedom
In order to work your sexual freedom the first step is to work on your own freedom: get to know, understand, respect and above all, love yourself.
When it comes to sexuality conceding means cancelling yourself. As a result, if you cancel yourself you won’t enjoy.
It is always better to share.
When your own sexual freedom and your lover’s join, the energy you create together surrounds you and allows you both to enjoy, feeling renewed and healed.